pg 4

Wedding Rituals and Traditions

Did you know that the bride's sisters often play jokes on the groom and hide his shoes at the wedding celebration?

Did you know that the engagement ring is often given to the bride by her mother-in-law?

Pre-Wedding Rituals:
After the man's parents decide upon a wife for their son, these negotiations often result in an engagement party shortly thereafter. All of the relatives and friends of both families attend. The son's mother usually provides her new daughter-in-law with beautiful clothing and jewelry. She may give the bride a sari and jewelry such as a gold necklace, earrings, and a ring. This ring will be the engagement ring. Not only does the woman wear an engagement ring, but in many Muslim communities the man also wears an engagement ring. At this dinner party the man puts the engagement ring on the woman's finger and she then places a ring on his finger. This important event in a woman's life determines the date of her marriage, and for some women this may be the first time they wear makeup such as lipstick.

The Mehndi Ceremony:
The Mehndi ceremony is held at the home of the bride a day or two before the wedding. At this ceremony all the female relatives of the bride annoint her with a special paste called mehndi to bring out the glow in her complexion. In addition, a relative of the bride puts mehndi on the hands and feet of the bride. The women often sing traditional songs and the bride may have her hands and feet decorated with precious stones or paintings. According to tradition, the bride must not leave her house prior to her wedding. Sometimes the women may also apply a dot of mehndi on the palm of the groom later because the groom has his own Mehndi ceremony at his house.

Here is the bride at the Mehndi ceremony with her female relatives.

The Day of the Wedding Ceremony:

The wedding ceremony can be held at either a mosque, the home of the bride or groom, or at any convenient venue. A priest (called Maulvi or Qazi) conducts the religious ceremony before family and friends. When the groom enters the wedding ceremony with his wedding party (baraat ) traditional music is played. The fathers of both the bride and groom (Walis) also play an integral role in the wedding ceremony. After the groom enters the ceremony he has a drink of sherbert with the bride's brother. The bride's sister often play pranks on the groom and the guests. The ceremony often lasts for about a day and a half. In orthodox Muslim ceremonies the men and women sit apart from each other and the bride and groom also sit in separate rooms. However, in most Muslim ceremonies men and women are able to sit together. During the ceremony the priest reads chosen verses from the Quran (holy book) and the wedding ceremony (Nikah) is complete after the acceptance of the proposal. The groom proposes to his bride and in return the girl accepts his proposal. When the bride accepts the groom's proposal she must say Qobul three times, which means I accept. This must be said loudly enough to be heard by the witnesses, who may be in a different room. This verbal proposal (Ijab-e-Qubul) is the most important part of the ceremony in order for the marriage to be legal. Both the bride and groom must mutually accept each other and the proposal. On the day of the wedding ceremony, the elder members of both families may decide on the amount of Mehar or Mahr (dowry). There must be at least two witnesses present and a guardian for the bride which would be one of her male relatives.

During the ceremony the marriage becomes legal when the Nikaahnama is registered. This is a document for the marriage contract which contains a set of terms and conditions that both the bride and groom must respect. This document also gives the bride the right to divorce her husband in the future. The Nikaahnama must be signed by the bride, groom, the Walis ( the fathers of the couple) and the Maulvi ( priest). The conditions of the Mahr are also included in this contract.

After the Nikaanama is signed the wedding is now valid. Later, the groom receives blessings from the older women and he offers his salaam (his greeting and blessings). Then the guests pray for the married couple. Now that the bride and groom are married there is a need to celebrate. The guests enjoy a lavish dinner feast called theWalima, and the women and men normally eat separately. At this feast the newlyweds will later sit together for the first time after dinner. While the Maulvi reads prayers the groom's and bride's heads are covered by a dupatta ( shawl, it used to be a traditional veil for the bride). The couple are only allowed to see each other through mirrors and the Quran is placed between them. The Walima is an important ceremony and it essentially presents the newly married couple to the community. The bride often receives gifts, such as jewels, money, and expensive clothing from the groom's family (Burri). Families will spend large sums of money on food, clothing and gifts. Even poor families will borrow money for this celebration because it is so important. Muslims believe that marriage is sacred and it unites two families rather than just two individuals.

Post-Wedding Rituals
After the bride is married she leaves her house and family and goes to live with her husband. The family is often upset to send their daughter away and this is called the Rukshat. The father of the bride places his daughter's hand in her husband's hand and he tells his son-in-law to protect and take care of his daughter.

Here is a picture of a father giving his son-in-law permission for his daughter. He can only ask that his daughter be protected and taken care of.

As the bride enters her house with her husband, the groom's mother hold the Q'uran above her head and sometimes flower petals are placed along the bride's path to her home symbolizing happiness in the future. The fourth day after the wedding, which is called the Chauthi, the bride goes back to her parents' house where they graciously welcome her. The groom's family may have a party called the Valimah after the wedding. This reception brings together both families and friends to celebrate the newlyweds and their new life together.
Here the bride is being welcomed home by her family.

HOME
Pictures, food, invitations and more